Overcoming low confidence in dating
Dating in Ireland isn’t as straight forward as it used to be. Now and again I come across people who do not have much confidence in themselves in relation to dating. This is due to various reasons, for example low self-esteem or perhaps they have been hurt in a previous relationship. Sometimes it can be a widow or widower who hasn’t been on the dating scene in several years and finds it all a bit daunting. If you can relate to this, there are a few things you can do to improve your confidence in this area.
The most important thing to remember is the other person is also feeling apprehensive especially on a first date. Subsequent dates get easier but the initial one is usually fraught with nerves! When I match couples I always say “be yourself”, be as natural as you can be. If you try to be something that you’re not it will be very obvious to the other person that you’re putting on an act. Even admitting to feeling a little under pressure is better than faking being someone you’re not.
The importance of making eye contact
When out on a date it is important to show you are interested, such as making eye contact to let the other person know you are paying attention to what they’re saying. Nod your head from time to time to let them know you are following their line of conversation. Ask appropriate but not nosey questions! Don’t turn your head every time the door opens and try not to gaze out the window or at the TV if there is one there. Keep your focus on him or her, smile from time to time to let them know you like them. It’s all very simple stuff but can be difficult if you feel under emotional pressure.
Getting to know the real you
Be willing to reveal a little about yourself that will show your date the kind of personality you have. Making small talk is ok to break the ice at the beginning, but you have to go a little deeper and let him or her know the real you so they can decide if they want to meet you again. If you share something that is close to your heart, that you have strong feelings about, that will give the other person a peep into your life and help them decide if they want to get to know you better. As a rule of thumb, avoid discussing politics and religion early on in a relationship!
Keep the line of conversation as positive as possible. Giving out about your boss or co-workers won’t make much of an impression! Using hobbies and interests can be a good way to keep the conversation positive and it will also give you an idea of the kind of interests the other person has.
Chivalry never goes out of fashion!
If you are a guy it is still nice to be a little chivalrous by offering the lady the seat with the best view and always offer to pay for the first date, if it’s only a cup of coffee. Some girls insist on going halves but at least you will have offered and it will show you are a generous person!
Suggesting a second date
If you are a lady and you are interested in meeting him again it is ok to say so! Some guys can be shy at the end of the date and are not sure if they should suggest meeting again in case you say no. So make it a bit easier on him and suggest a different venue for the next date.
Hopefully you will have found the above to be useful in becoming more confident at dating! The most important thing is that you enjoy getting to know someone new and sharing fun times together.
Check out this link for more dating tips!