At Twoheartsmeet, we match people as closely as we can, based on one’s profile criteria at the initial meeting face to face, and through subsequent follow up calls and our experience with the client who has had a number of matches’. However we have also advised many clients not to just rely on us finding them a partner, but to cast a wider net and join clubs, do night classes and try to find a mutual friend that they can socialise with.
For many, this can be difficult due to the circumstances they are in, small children or long work hours etc. We also advise that they should consider on-line dating, though we are aware a large number of our older clients are not comfortable with the internet, nevertheless it is an option that should be tried, in conjunction with other avenues to find a partner.
We would like to point out a few positives as well as a few things to watch out for if you do wish to pursue on-line dating.
1) Consider the site you wish to be on carefully. Some free sites draw in undesirables, people who have no real interest in long term dating. A paid site is usually better, but make sure you only pay up for a few months at the most and avoid automatic renewal, you can turn off this default in the sites settings.
2) Create a genuine, honest profile. There is no point saying you love dancing if you only think it might attract a reply, when you rarely go dancing! Have a reasonable amount on your profile about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner, but don’t make it too long or rambling, keep it concise.
3) Be careful about profile pictures. Yours especially. Most sites allow you to make your pictures ‘private’ this means that you will only show them to people you have been mailing for awhile and believe to be genuine people. If you want to show a picture on your profile page we would suggest you show a picture of yourself in the distance, say outdoors and not a place that shows your car or identifiable things about you.
4) When sending or receiving mails. Always write a decent mail, not, HI HOW R U? type mails! Try to write at least 3 to 5 lines, and ask about them as well as telling a little about yourself, this will give the other person something to reply to you about. Use spell check to make sure your spellings are correct as this always comes across better. If you receive a mail, check the persons profile and see if you feel you really have something in common and that they have made an effort with their profile, if they haven’t, are they worth the effort to correspond with?
Remember on-line dating, mailing etc is time consuming.In general, always be careful if you want to pursue on-line dating and ask questions of the person your mailing, if they are not willing to answer what you ask, you have to think about how genuine they are! We will have more about internet dating in our next newsletter….!
At Twoheartsmeet, we believe that you should be yourself, by this we mean self awareness, knowing who you are and being true to yourself. Many ask, “What is my goal in life?” or “What am I striving for?” every body will have a different answer depending on cultural background or influences, but it nearly always is centred around the realisation of the direction which their lives are, or have, taken,: so is there answers? Yes there is! and I will give 2 examples here. 1) First, draw a line down the middle of a blank page and on the right side, write down everything that you enjoy and feel good about… on the left side, write down everything that is negative in your life and you never feel good about.. The negative things you will now need to work on to eradicate from your life, believe me this may take years for some of those things to change, but it’s worth the effort! Simple! but when we are unhappy, we don’t always think simply! everything is an effort!
Away from pleasing others!
I am going to quote from Carl Rogers “On Becoming A Person” as I feel that it is worth thinking about, especially if your on the road to self awareness, but remember it will take time to get there! this is a man speaking after many years of working on himself.
” I finally felt that I simply had to begin doing what I wanted to do, not what I thought I should do, and regardless of what other people feel I should do. This is a complete reversal of my whole life. I’ve always felt I had to do things because they were expected of me, or more important, to make people like me…. I think from now on I’m going to just be me – rich or poor, good or bad, rational or irrational, logical or illogical, famous or infamous. so thanks for helping me to rediscover Shakespeare’s ‘ To thine own self be true.’ “
Basically, this man has decided to not be what he ought to be, as defined by his family or society or by his cultural upbringing. he felt caged and unhappy in his life, and once he realised the things that were making him unhappy, and not as fulfilled as he felt he should be, he started to make changes in his life. Hope this gives food for thought! Daniel and Eithne.I will explore this more, on a regular basis in future 2 monthly newsletters.
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