Last time we gave you 10 tips for finding your soulmate taken from Ask Men website. This time we are giving you the next 10 tips to help you on your way to finding love! Sometimes it’s a case of opposites attract as in the case of Harry and Suzie, and sometimes you click with someone who is very similar to yourself. So, if you’re in your 60’s like Nora and Sean or much younger it’s still lovely to be part of a loving and supportive couple. So read our tips and contact us if you want more information about our dating agency and matching process.
1. Be Vulnerable Where It Matters
“Many of us either operate in a space where we are totally closed off or share too much,” says Cook. “Find a happy medium where you are willing to connect in a safe and open way that allows you to get to know someone. You can still protect your heart without appearing guarded and defensive. If you notice that your partner has a wall up as well, carefully consider if they are at a place in their lives where they are willing to be thoughtfully vulnerable as well. In other words: Don’t date someone who is not open to love at this time.”
2 Own Who You Are and What You Want in a Relationship
If you really want to be in a serious relationship, why pretend you don’t to appease someone else? It’s okay to make that known.
“Pretending to be interested in only casually dating or portraying yourself as someone who is willing to hook up without a commitment when that isn’t who you are is not going to serve you in relationships,” says McNeil. “You send mixed messages to both the new partner and yourself by accepting less than you want. The right person for you will find it refreshing and attractive that you are willing to own who you are, and state your expectations about what you are looking for regardless of whether or not the other person agrees or validates you.”
3. Stop Being So Rigid in Your Expectations
You may have a prepared plan as to what you want out of the person you date, but make sure you’re focused on the right things.
“So many of my clients shoot people down before they ever have a chance to meet because of their ‘requirements’ for a new partner,” says McNeil. “Not every woman has to be a perfect size two in order to be a fit.” Instead, make a list of must-haves based on what a potential new person values – “their character, their ability to take personal responsibility for their behaviors, and sense of genuine concern for their needs,” continues McNeil. “Then you are more likely to find someone who is actually a good long-term fit.”
4. Consider Therapy to Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries
“The common denominator in all your relationships is you,” says McNeil. “If you feel you give more than you receive in relationships and they often leave you feeling disappointed, frustrated, victimized or resentful, you may have difficulties setting healthy boundaries in relationships.”
If you find yourself feeling that no matter how hard you try, nothing you ever do is good enough, or you catch yourself walking on eggshells out of fear about how your partner will respond to you, it’s time to do some work on yourself.
5. Evaluate Your Beliefs About Dating
Your beliefs about the dating landscape you’re in can impact whether or not you’ll be successful. Meaning, if your internal monologue consists of feeling like women never notice you, that you have to be a bodybuilder in order to get any attention or that all the good ones are taken, it’s time to challenge that thought process.
“Our beliefs create our reality, so really examine what thoughts you think on a regular basis about dating,” says relationship expert Kat Trimarco. “What if these beliefs weren’t true? As you choose different thoughts that are more in alignment with what you want to experience, these new thoughts over time become your beliefs and shape the new experiences you’ll have. Your willingness to see things differently will open up doors to meeting new people.”
6. Have a First Date Plan
When you’re going on a first date with someone you barely know, it can be tempting to leave the date up to chance. As Aaron explains, taking initiative to thoughtfully plan out a first date can really work to your advantage.
“Having planned for the date shows forethought; it signals to your date that she or he is important and worthy of your time,” he says. “Pre-planning also shows leadership, a fine strength to demonstrate. Share the plan as a way of keeping your date informed of what will happen, but also to get agreement that the plan will be pleasing to them.”
7. Incorporate an Activity Into Your Next Date
If firing questions back and forth at a bar on first dates isn’t getting you anywhere, Aaron suggests planning a date that focuses on an activity both of you enjoy.
“A date that incorporates a physical element adds a source of conversation,” says Aaron. “Taking a walk, riding bikes, going bowling, exploring a location, dancing, and climbing stairs to see beautiful views are all examples.”
8. Listen More Than Talk on Your First Few Dates
“I often tell my clients that the people you date will generally tell you who they are within the first few dates,” says McNeil. “Allow yourself to have potentially uncomfortable silences without rushing to fill the void. Let the other person share the responsibility of creating a space that feels mutually acceptable, and see if the other person is aware of your needs during conversations.”
9. Believe There Will Be a Second Date
The goal of any first date is to get to date number two, but going into a first date with that pressure hanging over your head can actually work against you.
“The best way to get a second date after a first date? Decide that there’s going to be a second date before that first date even starts,” says relationship expert Jenny Block. “Instead, enjoy the date. Look for the positive. Remember that love at first sight is mostly in the movies, and love that grows is the kind of love that lasts. You just might be surprised by what you discover about a person when you’re looking for their best instead of their worst.”
10. Go On a Second Date Even If the First One Wasn’t “Perfect”
“Many of my clients tell me they give someone just one date to get it right, and if they don’t feel a spark, then they move on,” says McNeil. “Have you ever considered that maybe you should give someone a few dates to get comfortable, and allow some of the nerves to die down so they can show you who they really are? Give this person a few dates to get comfortable with you and you with them. There is no rush to get to the finish line, and sometimes a person grows on you once you get to see them in a relaxed space.”