I’ve been thinking recently about the men and women I match and what makes some couples stay together while others could have lots of introductions and never be able to settle with anyone.
Getting to know you
There are several elements at play when two people are introduced. They start out as strangers, meet up for a few coffee or walking dates and find they want to get to know each other better. They both see qualities and attributes that they admire in each other and decide they want to invest more time in exploring the possibility of developing the relationship.
I feel I know you all my life
For some, it is the sense of feeling comfortable in the other person’s presence. They feel as though they knew each other all their lives. For others, it’s the feeling that the other person “gets them”, they can empathize immediately and it creates an almost instant bond. For others still, it’s because they really want to be in a relationship and make a decision with their mind rather than their heart that they are going to give it a fair chance and see what happens.
Am I attracted to you?
Sometimes chemistry, or an attraction, or making a strong connection does not happen straight away for a couple. This is often the reason why people give up trying to make it work as they feel if that element isn’t there, then the relationship won’t last long term. However, other couples tell me a few months after I’ve matched them, that there was no chemistry at the beginning, but it developed over time as they got to know each other. This makes me wonder, if a lot of couples who give up after meeting the person just once or twice, could possibly have made a go of it if they had hung in there for longer and given the relationship a chance to develop further.
Recently, I was contacted by of a couple who got engaged and I remember clearly when I matched them just over a year ago. Let’s call them John and Louise. I was finding it challenging to find a match for each of them, Louise because she was very tall at 5’11 and John because he was shy and introverted. Louise was taller than a lot of the guys in her age bracket on my database at that time and was adamant that she would only date someone a few inches taller so she wouldn’t feel as though she was towering over the man.
Just perfect for me!
The feedback I had received about John from previous ladies I had matched him with, was “he’s a really lovely genuine guy, salt of the earth, but not chatty at all, I had to keep the conversation going”. Thankfully, John was well over 6’ tall so I called Louise and told her I had a guy whose profile I was going to email to her. I explained that he was a bit on the shy side but had a lot of the other criteria that was important to her, such as a love for nature and the outdoors as well as adventurous travel. She didn’t mind at all, she said, that he was a bit of an introvert, as she was chatty enough for two people!
The best job in the world!
My life as a matchmaker is really interesting and rewarding and it is very satisfying to be able to introduce couples who go on to develop loving and committed relationships. It gives me huge joy to see couples take the time to develop their relationship from being two strangers to being each other’s soul mates and best friends.