What makes us attracted to one person and not the other? Where does the famous chemistry come from that creates a spark between two people? There are some very handy dating tips in this blog which I hope you will find interesting and informative. It is taken from the Ask Men website and it offers some great insight into what makes people fall for each other. It describes the initial attraction between three couples and what qualities keep the couples in love. From physical attractions such as tall, dark and handsome to personal attributes like confidence and kindness, it makes for some really good reading! My favourite line is when Charlie says that Emily inspires him to be the best version of himself. Enjoy!
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We took a look behind the scenes at three different relationships and asked both partners to pinpoint what initially attracted them to each other. From shaggy hair to quiet confidence, here’s what made the difference between a fling and the real thing.
Couple No. 1: Charlie & Emily
Charlie:
When I finally got to meet Emily properly, I was instantly smitten. I was also instantly petrified. I knew very, very quickly that life was now irreparably altered. I was now charged with a mission to woo this gorgeous, funny and kind girl, and there really wasn’t much to be done about it. And instinctively realising you’ve chanced upon the girl you’re certain one day you’ll be proposing to changes everything. Without realising, you find yourself thumbing your nose at all those “dating rules” you’ve previously adhered to. I cared not how quickly I held off replying to a message, it was not my concern if I appeared keen by poring over mix CDs (and drawing their sleeves in felt-tip pens), and I couldn’t wait to meet her family and friends. I wanted in, entirely. I suppose I’m clumsily suggesting that when you meet “The One,” it sneaks up on you. It’s an un-self-conscious sensation that you’re wholly unprepared to negotiate. I can certainly pinpoint exactly what it was – and still is – about Emily I fell for. Physically, she’s exactly my type: brunette (with Deschanel-slaying bangs), gifted with toned curves, an unwavering sense of style and an unassuming manner that told me she, incredibly, had no real idea of her appeal. It sounds horribly selfish written down, but I wanted to be the one who was around when she realised her appeal. I quickly recognised how I wanted to better myself when around her – she continues to possess a wonderful capacity to amplify the better aspects of my personality and inspire me to much better police the self-indulgent, navel gazing that fueled my early 20s. After three years, I’m still totally bewitched and I couldn’t be happier
Emily:
I can’t quite pinpoint when I first met Charlie – we worked on the same floor for at least a year before I even remember us having a conversation – but I had certainly noticed him early on for his infectious smile and quirky sense of style. Back then he had golden hair, in a sort of shaggy, surfer-y way, which was a brightening contrast to the grayness of London life. I used to watch him sometimes as he’d walk past my part of the office and think I’d like to run my hands through it – not something I had ever envisioned doing to a man I’d never really spoken to before.
He is just such a fun, thoughtful, warm person, and as I started to get to know him as friends, he’d always spend time finding out about me and figuring out ways to make me smile – whether it be by leaving a mix CD on my desk or sending me cute emails in giant font so that no one could miss the fact that we were clearly smitten with each other.
I just love how much effort Charlie makes to make people feel special. I guess that’s the true sign of charisma. And when you know that you’re the most special person in their life, well, that is an amazing feeling.
But the thing that keeps the attraction going strong is that there’s fire between us. We’re both strong characters, and although we have very similar values in life, we often have very different opinions on things. And we’re both stubborn, so we fight it out to try and bring the other round to our way of thinking. I guess that’s because we care deeply what the other thinks, and that’s the real chemistry between us. Life wouldn’t be exciting if we didn’t feel like we wanted to sway each other every single day.
I think that Charlie is the other half of me. He’s creative, passionate, spontaneous and thoughtful (and, yes, of course he’s handsome, too) – the perfect complement for my often over-structured, sometimes unconfident self. Which is why I hope he’ll always be mine (cringe!).
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Couple No. 2: Erin & Ozzy
Erin:
I was instantly attracted to my husband before I even met him. Our first interaction took place over the phone, when I called to ask if he would come in to the museum where I worked for an interview. From those initial moments, I knew instantly that I really liked this guy. He was friendly, eloquent and exuded a genuine personality that came through before I even laid eyes on him. When I did finally meet him a couple of days later, I couldn’t believe that this guy on the phone was so handsome. Ozzy is first-generation Cuban, and I was immediately attracted to his “foreign” tall, dark and handsome look. I always pay attention to the way men are dressed, and Ozzy came in that day with an immaculate suit and great shoes — something I always notice!
During our first meeting, he never stopped smiling, and even though he was the one being interviewed, he captivated the room and made everyone feel at ease and made the atmosphere relaxed. This is what I continue to love most about him to this day — his ability to express himself and captivate an audience with his authentic personality, effusive laugh and smile, and genuine interest in the person he is speaking to. It doesn’t hurt that he speaks five languages! Ozzy is very polite, which is an attractive feature that also caught my attention. During the interview, two women left the room, and Ozzy stood up to show respect. What a gentleman!
Ozzy:
My wife, Erin, is a gorgeous blonde. Her beauty is imposing, and she stands out when she walks into a room or just on the street. But what I first remember being in awe of were her long, elegant legs. Erin has always been an active person. Her passion for sports has also given her legs Venus would envy. We still enjoy spending time outdoors together, for the obvious health benefits and other more selfish reasons.
Before I got to know Erin, however, I noticed not only her legs but also how she used them. Erin is poised and graceful when she walks. I think she could copyright her stride. Although it might be a cliché, I really did hate to see her leave but loved to watch her walk away.
This confidence and optimism helped me want to get to know her. But the real chemistry happened on our first date. Over dinner, I learned that we shared a love for travel and exotic foods. I remember she smiled warmly and laughed graciously at my attempts at humor. All the while, she kept her eyes fixed on me, almost as much as I kept mine fixed on her. I was smitten before the check even arrived. In getting to know Erin, and ultimately making her my wife, I’ve come to realise that she is even more gorgeous, both inside and out, than I could have imagined when I first saw her
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Couple No. 3: Jordan & Matt
Jordan:
Matt and I met while waiting in line at a bar in Manhattan. His friends started chatting up my friends, and next thing we knew, we had all danced the night away. From the moment Matt introduced himself, I was struck by his confidence. He carried himself like he was comfortable in his own skin, very natural, not worried about impressing me and not ashamed to let out a boisterous laugh. I was also immediately attracted to his big smile, which shows off adorable dimples and a great set of pearly whites. He was also dressed well, in a sharp blazer and straight-leg jeans. One of my favorite moments of that first night was when we realised we had unintentionally crashed a birthday party. Slices of red velvet cake were being passed out and without a word — but with a big grin — Matt snagged a slice and fed me the first bite. What a gentleman!
From then on, our romance blossomed and there would be many slices of cake, late-night dancing and laughs. If his confidence was the initial hook, Matt’s brilliance is what has maintained my constant attraction after five years together (not to mention he’s an absolute stud). He’s always thinking about life from different perspectives, trying new things and challenging me to do the same. Together, we’ve explored the world, from Tel Aviv to Tuscany, Peru to Paris. And did I mention he speaks Spanish and French? What’s sexier than that?
Matt:
What started out as a typical Friday night out with my friends in the city turned out to be one of those life-defining moments you see in the movies. It was in the first moment that I knew I had met someone special — someone different than anyone I had met before. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to her looks immediately (she was tall with mesmerizing green eyes, the cutest nose and silky hair). But she wasn’t just beautiful; she was alluring. She let her personality shine through right away without any guards, and what drew me in was her confidence, quirkiness and spontaneity.
That night I met my complement — she matched me in every single way. After dancing, singing and smiling over a piece of hastily shared red velvet cake, I walked the early dawn streets struck by the experience of meeting “the one.” I woke up the next morning and called the only other person who would understand, my mom. I told her I had met the woman of my dreams. She laughed with the perspective of age — who at 22 can know such a thing? It was only a short time later that I proved her wrong, as I’m now planning to marry this girl of my dreams on the beaches of Montauk in just a few months. Who could ask for a better movie-script ending?