The Secret to Finding Love

I’ve been matchmaking with over 11 years now and one pattern I see time and time again is as follows: the people who are very keen to meet someone usually are successful in doing so. However, the opposite is also true, those people who are half hearted about meeting a partner often end up saying no to several potential matches, greatly reducing their chances of finding the one.

I think some people who join up are satisfying a little voice in their head which is nudging them to make an effort to meet a partner so that if they do end up alone in the future at least they can tell themselves “I tried”.

The other ones though, who are convinced that I will be successful in finding them someone compatible, more often than not they are the ones who click with the first or second person I match them with.

For example, a very eligible man joined up about 6 months ago and he was so good looking, charismatic and witty and ticked lots of boxes for so many ladies that I thought he would be snapped up straight away. However, I matched him with four ladies before the last one decided to hold onto to him for herself! When I looked back at the profiles of the other three ladies, I could see that all three hadn’t stayed more than one month with any of the men I had matched them with.

This man is in a professional career, is over 6 feet tall, has an athletic build as he works out a few times a week and is the nicest person you would ever come across. On top of all of that he is kind, generous and romantic and always brings a little box of hand made chocs when he’s meeting a lady for the first time! (Did I mention that he loves to cook and is a big DIY fanatic?!)

Even though he ticked all their boxes and more besides, the first three ladies I matched him with only saw in hindsight what a great catch he was. So what was different about the fourth lady? She was keen to meet someone, that’s the difference. Actually, her list of criteria wasn’t as long as some of the other ladies, for example, she didn’t mind what a man did for a living or how tall he was. She wanted someone who had empathy and a warm heart, they were the top two things on her list. The main difference though was that she really, really, really wanted to be in a relationship. Even though she’s very independent in lots of ways, she missed the company of a compatible partner in her life. A lover. A best friend. A companion to share all the ups and downs of life with. Someone who has her back. Someone to call her own.

So the moral of the story is, if you join a matchmaking agency, make sure that your heart is 100% involved. Be keen, be interested, be involved. Don’t be half hearted. Don’t be lukewarm. Don’t have a long list of criteria that will exclude a lot of potential partners because you never know which one you’re going to have chemistry with unless you meet him or her. And wouldn’t it be a shame if you missed out on your special someone because of a technical glitch like “they live too far away” or “they are not as tall as I would like”. Look for the qualities that last, such as kindness, loyalty and genuineness.

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